My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
look no pants
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize