ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
