whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize