YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
