Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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