): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
