yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
