apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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