you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
