shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
