So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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