The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I wish i was in the wii world.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
