i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i out mim tonsoeep
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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