i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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