i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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