Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
