He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
