the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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