My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
