If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
