Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
