idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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