I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
