Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
