he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
