my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
