That's intense
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
