I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
