My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
