Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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