Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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