Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
