I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
did i walk over a car last night?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
