I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
