and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
