And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
