i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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