K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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