so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize