well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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