I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
