Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
