i think i have herpe
just one?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
