I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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