I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We have started to decorate penises.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
