you would pick up someone in the library
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
