I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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