I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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