I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
