gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
