How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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