Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
