Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
