We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
