Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
