I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
