as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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