it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
nutella sex= disaster
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
