he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
